


(Sleep)Walk Into My Arms

by higayimdad



Series: Stray Kids oneshots [5]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (they dont), 500 on do they hate each other or not, Enemies to Lovers, Freeform, Happy Ending, Honestly lots of crack, How Do I Tag, I rlly know nothing about the navy, M/M, Navy, Rivalry, Sharing a Bed, Sleepwalking, Teen and up because of langauge, because hyunsung, mentions of vomit, yes im going with that trope AGAIN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/higayimdad/pseuds/higayimdad
Summary: What happens when Hyunjin - a sleepwalker, ends up in Jisung's bed after yet another sleepwalking adventure? Chaos, obviously. Especially when hehatesJisung. Especially when Jisunghateshim back.Well, hate is a strong word.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Series: Stray Kids oneshots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756504
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78





	(Sleep)Walk Into My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: this is actually based on a true story!
> 
> (here comes the cw again, there are multiple mentions of throwing up in this au!! nothing descriptive or graphic but be wary of that if you are sensitive!)

The rocking boat frankly made about half of their crew seasick and green to their face. Jisung wasn’t any different. He wasn’t really made for the sea, but as the options ran dry; the navy was somehow the only thing left on his list. Even if he himself wasn’t very happy about it. His family probably (definitely) wanted him to stay back and work in the family business, and Jisung felt that probably (definitely) wasn’t for him - which is why he was currently hovering over the boat railing rejecting his breakfast. To be fair though, by now he only threw up like twice a week, compared to the five or six times when he first joined the crew. So no, maybe Jisung wasn’t perfectly made for the sea, but it was probably (definitely) better than the life he most certainly would have ended up with back home. 

“Lunch looks like Jisung’s throw up.” Someone laughed, the rest of the cafeteria followed. Often he didn’t bother very much that he was the butt of jokes, except for when Hyunjin was the one who made them. Ridiculously tall and handsome, perhaps just a bit too charismatic (suspicious, no one is like that and also like, human) and always followed by his posse of friends. Jisung hated him. 

Jisung pretended to laugh and when the crowd had gone back to their usual low murmuring, Jisung threw the deadliest glare he could possibly form at Hyunjin, who took it with a smirk before blowing raspberries at him. 

“Maybe you should just kill him?” His friend whispered, took a spoonful of Jisung's food. Why he didn’t know, it was actually quite similar to his own vomit. So much if Jisung stared at it for another three minutes, he might just get sick again. 

“Too much trouble.” He pushed the plate away from him and frowned, he knew his friend was joking, but the thought had passed him maybe once or twice. As a joke. Obviously. 

“Ah Chan, he really stepped onto this ship and decided to hate me. So I hate him.” Jisung continued and leaned back in his chair, watched as his friend - Chan, took it upon himself to eat the rest of Jisung’s food.

“Well you weren’t very nice to him when he joined either, do you really blame him for hating you?” 

Jisung had to close his eyes to remember Hyunjin’s first day with their crew, to be honest he hadn’t paid any attention to him. Though he stood out with his pretty face and lanky figure, he was quiet and didn’t really get close to Jisung’s own circle of friends. He slept in the same quarter as Jisung, and if it weren’t for the incident that would come to happen just a few hours after midnight - maybe Jisung would have considered being his friend. 

See, Jisung is a night owl, he likes to admire the night sky or wander around their large ship through dark hallways. Whether it was taking his time listening to the few albums he had downloaded on his phone (it was also only really during night he was allowed to use his phone), or surprisingly listening to the waves hitting the side of the ship. While he definitely got seasick easily, there was something very peaceful about the quiet sea. Jisung learned during one of these late evenings - Hyunjin is a sleepwalker. A rude one too! 

Like many other nights, Jisung was wandering around with too much energy surging through his body, when he saw the lanky boy at the end of the hallway. Just outside their rooms. Standing Blair Witch style facing the door. 

_“Ah, Hyunjin was it? Are you okay?”_ Jisung had asked when he got near the boy, still standing as if frozen. He remained silent, so Jisung took it upon himself to maybe step into Hyunjin’s comfort zone. 

His eyes were closed, lips moving as if he was actually talking. But Jisung couldn’t hear a word until he leaned in close. 

_“Mommy shark du-du-du-du-du-du, mommy shark du-du-du-du-du-du…”_

Not only sleepwalking; sleepsinging too! Now, don’t bother asking, this wasn’t the rude part, no it was actually extremely hilarious. So hilarious Jisung fumbled with his phone through muffled laughter and tears to film it before he stopped. After about 20 seconds of listening to Hyunjin sing, Jisung decided it was enough. He carefully shook Hyunjin’s shoulder and whispered his name. 

All the fucking guy did was flutter with his eyelashes, somehow look at Jisung with eyes so blank he wasn’t sure something was going on behind them at all, and mumbled. 

_“Who the fuck are you?”_

Then he entered their quarters, laid down in his bunk bed, and probably fell back asleep, all within 30 seconds. Jisung _did_ find this quite rude. 

_However,_ the next day when Jisung was showing the video of Hyunjin singing ‘baby shark’ to Chan and a few other friends, the subject of the video - freaked out _for some reason._ Turning bright red and yelling at Jisung right there. 

That’s when the brawling began; the next day Hyunjin was loudly laughing at the video he had captured of Jisung singing opera in the shower. They quickly became unofficial enemies _slash_ rivals _slash_ antagonists in the other one’s book. Gladly finding reasons to quarrel or throw daggers with their eyes, pointing out exactly what they found annoying with each other. If it weren’t for the fact that their superiors had started watching them like hawks, and that their respective crewmates had grown a bit tired of them; Jisung was 100% sure they would have fought by now. Fists and all. 

Once again Jisung opened his eyes, threw Chan an annoyed glare and watched him scoop more of Jisung’s food onto his own plate. If he mentioned it Jisung knew he’d only hear all about that he needed to up his calorie intake to make sure he could build muscles or _blah blah-blah blah-blah_ whatever _._

“Whatever, fuck Hyunjin. All he had to do was tell me to delete the video and all would have been perfectly fine.” 

“Would you have though?” 

Jisung didn’t answer him, the answer was obviously no. 

Since Hyunjin and Jisung rarely got along, they had learned each other's routines almost entirely, mostly to be able to avoid each other. But sometimes for the off chance to annoy each other. _“Sorry I was the first one to the shower,”_ with a smirk here or an _“oh I’m sorry did I wake you up from your nap?”_ while feigning an apology there. 

Unfortunately, they didn’t know what the other was doing every second of every day, even if it was close to it - which is why they both ended up with each other in the ship gym that same evening. The poor third guy in there soon left when he realized he had to share a room together with Hyunjin and Jisung. 

_If_ he had the option, it looked like Hyunjin really wanted to leave. But Jisung knew their PO had been on his ass for being too skinny (which wasn’t really true, Hyunjin was freakishly strong), and Jisung would have left if it wasn’t for the fact that he probably couldn’t run more than a mile unless he was chased by literal zombies. 

They respectfully ignored each other’s presence. Hyunjin was about to pop a vessel in his neck while lifting weights while Jisung was currently drenching his t-shirt in sweat on the treadmill, pretending the other didn't exist. 

“Boys time to head out - I need to clean.” The janitor stood in the threshold to the gym, he had been here for longer than anyone else, and it didn’t matter how much Jisung or Hyunjin thought of themselves, they would never dare to question him. Jisung honestly had more respect for him than what he had for their admiral, it took a lot of courage to deep clean the gym after a day of hundreds of stinky men working out there. 

They bowed to him and threw side eyes to each other while heading to the changing rooms. 

“Your ass is small.” Hyunjin muttered under his breath, if it weren’t for _him_ saying it, Jisung would have laughed. He didn’t exactly have an ass. 

“Well! Your dick is about this big.” Jisung turned around, one hand gripping tight at the towel wrapped around his waist and the other hand held up in front of his face, thumb and pointer finger pressed tight together. 

The staredown lasted for a solid of six seconds before both had to avert their eyes with red cheeks. 

It really was sad they had this running rivalry. Maybe they could have been friends if not. Maybe even more - Jisung had always wanted a secret relationship (knowing his superiors _frowned upon_ relationships within the crew did make it a bit more tempting). Hyunjin was pretty hot too (Jisung would never admit it to his face), so Jisung had accidentally dreamt of them together. To Jisung’s defense; they were all dreams, which he has zero control over. If he told Chan about them, the older probably ( _most_ definitely) would have made sure that Jisung knew they meant much more. _“You waaantt Hyunjin.”_ He could practically hear the older one laugh as he said it. 

Hyunjin huffed, slipped on the slightly too big sweater, tied the shorts, made a way too big of a deal leaving the changing room. Throwing his bag over his shoulder and keeping his chin high. 

“Drama queen. You’re just mad you have a micro-penis.” Jisung shouted at him. To which the other turned around, flipped him off with both of his hands and tilted his head. 

“Someone’s hurt I called his ass flat?”

Jisung hurried up next to Hyunjin. “My ass is literally not flat. You just can’t see it because my sweatpants are constantly like 2 sizes too big.” 

“Listen it’s not that big underneath them either honey.” 

“How often do you look at my ass?” Jisung asked, as if he wasn’t the one who almost shoved his butt in Hyunjin’s face to prove it wasn’t that small (it was). 

“How often do _you_ look at my dick?” Hyunjin finally countered, squinted his eyes down on Jisung. 

“What the fuck are you guys talking about.” Chan came around the corner. Or it was the opposite, Hyunjin and Jisung came around the corner. 

Both mumbled a _“nothing”_ , entered the sleeping quarters and moved to the two opposite ends of the room. Jisung pretended he couldn’t see Hyunjin change. Hoped dearly his mind wouldn’t make up some nonsensical dream about Hyunjin. 

“Lights off!” Echoed in their hall before the room turned dark, save for a few night lights lit up around the room. 

Jisung was a night owl, which meant he would get the amazing opportunity to listen to about a dozen of the guys sleeping in here snore. Was he a fan of it? No. Absolutely not. Did he pretend it could at least be considered white noise? Yes. Yes he did. So even if Jisung was a night owl, and often amongst the last ones to fall asleep he used it to his advantage, pretending the snoring and the waves crashing against the ship was nothing more than ASMR. 

Tonight he fell into a semi-deep slumber quite quickly, perhaps a result from working out too late, or still fatigued from losing his breakfast. Somehow he still felt his and Chan’s bunkbed tremble from the older friends scarily loud snores in his dream. Presenting itself like thunder - which Jisung wasn’t a fan of. But whatever, at least he was asleep. 

Changbin was perhaps the only one in their sleeping quarter who fell asleep after Jisung. 

His eyes caught sight of something - someone. Hyunjin. Carefully slipping out from underneath his covers. Everyone knew by this point that Hyunjin was a frequent sleepwalker, often not doing anything more than circling the room before going back to bed. Changbin found it pretty hilarious, always watching him; half to make sure he didn’t accidentally kill himself and half to see what he did. 

“Where is he?” Hyunjin mumbled, dragging his fingers along the wall. Probably because it was the only way around the room he knew without stumbling on something. The mumbling and slow walk would probably (definitely) be eerie and straight-up frightening if not everyone was semi-used to it by now. 

Changbin giggled, kicked the underside of his bunkmates' mattress, and when the sleepy boy hung his head over the edge to glare at him, Changbin whispered _“he’s at it again.”_ and pointed at Hyunjin. 

Both laughed behind their hands, watched him walk around the beds. 

To their surprise, he stopped by Jisung and Chan’s bunk bed. Though his eyes were definitely _blank_ he seemed to have a goal in mind. Sleeping or not. 

They widened their eyes, “is he gonna kill Jisung?” Changbin finally asked, voice still not loud enough as to wake anyone else. 

“I-I don’t actually know.” The friend answered from above. 

Hyunjin felt the mattress with his fingers, pushed it down a bit - as if to test if it was actually real. Jisung stirred in his sleep but didn’t seem to even notice the other one. Not even when Hyunjin lifted Jisung’s covers and slipped in under them.

Changbin couldn’t believe his eyes, and frankly almost fell off his bed watching the scene go down. He watched as Jisung raised on his elbows, looked down on the one next to him through barely open eyes. 

All hell is about to break loose, Changbin had time to think. Jisung finding Hyunjin creeping into _his_ bed in the middle of the night, this is worse than if Hyunjin had tried to kill him - at least that was more or less explainable. They didn’t like each other! Attempted murder was bound to come up sooner or later. But sleeping together? Changbin couldn’t phantom that. 

Jisung huffed, laid down again, and threw an arm over Hyunjin’s chest. Pressed his face against his shoulder and fell back asleep. 

Now, what happened was simple. Much simpler than what it might look. Hyunjin is a sleepwalker. Hyunjin _hated_ Jisung, but the boy was despite (or maybe because) of this constantly on his mind. So in his usual sleepwalking adventure, his brain had decided to find the subject his thoughts were so occupied by. 

In familiar fashion, Jisung had already admitted to himself that he thought Hyunjin was attractive. He had - even if he wasn’t the biggest fan of it - come to terms with the fact that Hyunjin was on his mind about 75% of his waking time. Scratch that, while fast asleep too. Which is why when Jisung woke up, he believed he was still asleep and simply, well, dreaming.

Plus, Hyunjin was warm, his shoulder was comfortable to rest against, and Jisung was honestly _very_ touch starved. Embarrassingly so. Jisung probably (definitely) would have just gone back to sleep with Hyunjin by his side even if he didn’t think he was dreaming, alas maybe a bit more confused. 

The lights turned on, and Jisung woke up to a pair of bunched up socks hitting his face. 

“What the fuck?” He picked the socks off of his chest and threw them back at Chan, who was presumably the one who threw them in the first place. 

“You slept _good_?” He asked, lips curled up in a mischievous smile. 

Jisung was about to ask what he meant. Don’t get him wrong, Chan was a very caring friend - but he wasn’t the “did you sleep well?” kind of friend. Especially not with that smug smile. Turned out there was no need for the question, because when he turned his head, Hyunjin was, _well..._ an inch away from him. 

Eyelashes fluttered in his sleep, long limbs hugging Jisung’s body. The black hair in a mess on his head. It was comfortable, Jisung couldn’t even lie. But it was _Hyunjin?_

“What the _fuck?”_ Jisung managed to spew out, and when two droplets of his spit hit Hyunjin’s forehead, the boy opened his eyes and dried them off without thinking. 

Once Hyunjin had stared at Jisung for a full 10 seconds, and was done _really_ taking in what was going on; he shot up from their awkward position. Hitting the top of his head on the bunk bed above him, hissing at the sudden pain. 

The words _“what are you doing in my bed?”_ began to trail off Hyunjin’s tongue, stopping in his tracks when he realized he was in fact, in Jisung’s bed - and not the other way around. His normally tan skin paled, a bead of sweat formed on his forehead. 

Hyunjin scrambled off Jisung’s bed, rushed to his own to grab his clothes - then he disappeared to the bathrooms, too embarrassed to be seen. 

“Look at them!” Changbin cried with laughter, passing his phone around their table at lunch. 

Jisung’s face had been constantly red since morning, he _almost_ believed this was just another thing everyone might laugh at for ten minutes - before forgetting. It was not. 

When Hyunjin entered the dining hall he was almost _instantly_ pushed towards Jisung and the table he was sitting at by a friend. Who laughed at Hyunjin’s distraught face. Forced him down next to Jisung. The two boys watched Changbin slide his phone over the table, right in front of their faces. 

There was an impressive amount of pictures, how none of them had woken up during the long photoshoot was just as (if not more) impressive. The first one was a closeup, you could actually almost see the drool pooling on Hyunjin’s chest, coming from Jisung’s mouth. 

The next one was taken just a few minutes later. Changbin commented, rather proudly, that they apparently tossed around a lot in their sleep. Pointing at the picture, obviously taken a bit away - Hyunjin and Jisung spooning. 

“This is photoshopped, if I now would spoon someone, which definitely wouldn’t be Hyunjin. _I’d_ be the big spoon.” Jisung pointed out nonchalantly, like Changbin really would have taken his time to do that.

“Oh don’t worry, you were - look!” Changbin laughed, and showed the two another set of pictures. They had switched positions, with Jisung tightly hugging Hyunjin, his face pressed against his shoulderblades. 

It was the hot topic for the entire day! Why everyone suddenly took such a big interest in Hyunjin and Jisung’s relationship they couldn’t help but wonder. Often there was sort of an unwritten rule to keep them apart as much as you could - their frequent fights often got on their PO's nerves, not to mention _literally_ everyone else on their crew. Today everyone seemed to have the opposite goal, for example, Chan pushed Jisung into Hyunjin’s direction, weirdly forcefully. Normally when Jisung bumped into the former they would have ended up in a fight, today their ears just turned red before moving on. 

Somehow (or not very somehow, it was obviously Changbin’s doing) their PO caught a whiff of what had happened. So during team exercises he proudly announced that it was Hyunjin and Jisung’s turn to team up. 

“I’ve heard you got...quite...close, so isn’t just a matter of time.” He smiled, sweetly, knowing how much Jisung and Hyunjin would hate it. Or he had it completely wrong - and, _somehow_ though they actually liked each other. It’s okay to laugh, it’s hilarious! They _obviously_ didn't. 

Of course, they had already admitted to themself that the other one was _constantly_ on their mind. Which wasn’t weird. Definitely not. And yes, Jisung already thought Hyunjin was crazy attractive. Even if Hyunjin had started to doubt his own judgement - the same applied to Hyunjin, maybe if someone forced a truth serum down his throat he’d confess it too. _“Jisung doesn’t look so bad!”_

“Ten more pushups Hwang! Fourteen for you Han, you got 15 seconds!” 

“I’m dying, my heart is beating so fast it’s not beating at all.” Jisung gasped for air, felt like he was drowning in a puddle of his own sweat. Hyunjin rolled a water bottle over to Jisung, and laid down on the hard floor next to him.

“Jesus fuck, why are they so hard on us?” Jisung asked him, rolled to the side. 

“Well probably because you bailed last week, and I had the unfortunate luck getting paired up with you.” Hyunjin answered, dried off the sweat on his forehead, pulled one of the corners of his mouth into a snarky smile. 

“Doesn’t sound like misfortune to me. I’m a delight.”

For the first time since Jisung met Hyunjin, or more like, since they had become _hardcore rivals,_ the former didn’t deny the comment. 

The walk back to their sleeping quarter wasn’t awkward per se, it was quiet, no doubt, but not awkward. When they walked through the long corridor, Hyunjin pointed out one door, at the railing. 

“Remember when you threw up there.” He laughed, and now that Jisung didn’t focus on how much he hated him (but he still does! Promise!), he realized that the laugh was quite melodic. 

“Shut up,” Jisung pushed him, but still chuckled through the words “Remember when you stood outside our door singing ‘Baby Shark’? I can’t really remember the lyrics, you wanna sing it for me again?” 

As Jisung reached for the door to the sleeping quarter, Hyunjin stopped him. 

“Hey I just wanted to apologize for - you know, basically climbing into your bed. I’ve been a sleepwalker since I learned how to walk but I have rarely, _forced_ myself onto someone like that, it’s just been on a few occasions-” Hyunjin stopped himself, realized that he was probably (definitely) overexplaining it, it would have been enough with an ‘I’m sorry’. Especially considering Hyunjin was about to turn on a road that would end up with him explaining to the other that he has only ever sleepwalked into someone else’s bed if they were a) a love interest, or b) his parents. Jisung was obviously not his parent, but Hyunjin still pretended it wasn’t because he was the former either. 

“It’s cool. Don’t worry. Anything can happen.” Jisung said, as if he hadn’t been freaking out over said thing just this morning. 

The door flung open, with Changbin on the other side. freakishly big grin on his face. 

“Thought I heard you two here,” He smiled, then turned his head around and shouted to the rest “They are 100% kissing guys, oh god - they are still kissing. Tongues are everywhere!” 

Everyone roared with laughter. Was the joke funny? Barely. Was it enough to make both of them as red as a rose in bloom? Yes. 

Jisung had never had a problem with being the butt of the joke. Well, he used to hate when Hyunjin made jokes about him, now, well, he wouldn’t mind it at all compared to this. 

Both of them pushed past Changbin with cursing matching the ones of a sailor quite well, laid down in their respective beds. Both hoped to fall asleep - wake up tomorrow like everything was normal. 

Hyunjin would naturally hate the other, perhaps lay a comment during breakfast on how Jisung’s food wouldn’t stay in his stomach for more than two hours. Jisung would spew out some witty comment, hoping everyone's attention would turn from him back to Hyunjin. 

It was really unfortunate that Hyunjin woke up in Jisung’s bed the morning thereafter too. Head nuzzled under Jisung’s chin, limbs so entangled you could barely see where one arm started and one leg ended. The sleepwalker had struck again - and Jisung hadn’t even batted an eyelash when the lanky figure came lying down in his bed at 3 am. 

Well, unfortunate and unfortunate - it depends on how you look at it. The Jisung and Hyunjin then probably (definitely) thought it was a disaster, _so_ embarrassing. The two would wonder what was more beneficial, wait until everyone forgets about it (if they do) or simply jump into the ice-cold water below the ship? Because what if it happens again? Wouldn’t that be _terrible_?

The same two boys wouldn’t consider the situation as unfortunate five, or even ten years in the future. Telling nosey friends all about it, how truly lucky they were that they both somehow ended up on the same ship that year. Jisung thanked his family silently for being so much of a pain in the ass, he escaped to an actual boat. A boat! Hyunjin was grateful for being so bored he basically threw a dart against a pile of leaflets, letting the dart decide his future for him. 

_“After a few weeks I just started to go to his bed once people thought I was asleep.”_ Hyunjin confessed, as if the whole crew didn’t know by then that their fighting stopped for a reason. 

_“Our first kiss was under my sheets, at like 4 am, we really thought we got away with it until Chan told me he heard it from his bunk.”_ Jisung turned pink from the memory, but still looked over at Hyunjin like it was one of the fondest moments of their relationship (it kind of was). 

Jisung almost coughed a lung up, packing up one of the few boxes he and Hyunjin had left. The contents of it were dusty, and to be honest Jisung hadn’t even looked at what was written on it before he threw it in the moving truck. 

“Hey! Come look at this.” He called out for Hyunjin, who came over to him with curious eyes. 

There was an album, containing old photos. Starting from Jisung and Hyunjin’s navy days, the former had written ‘where it began’ on the front with black sharpie, the album wasn’t full yet - of course, they hadn’t reached the ‘where it ended’ stage, if they ever would. 

The very first photo was taken of their crew, Hyunjin and Jisung were standing so far apart, one couldn’t really tell that they even knew each other. If Jisung remembered correctly this was about four days after the ‘baby shark’ incident. In the next group photo they were standing next to each other, it wasn’t dated, but it was towards the end of the year. Jisung only remembered he was freezing (you couldn’t see it in the photo, but Hyunjin was holding his hand to keep him warm). 

The photos were of them, and them only. Many taken in secret, some of them kissing, some of them on small dates and adventures. From where it began - in the navy, and continuing into their shared future. 

“Should we buy a boat?” Hyunjin asked, teased. He kissed the crown of Jisung’s head while waiting for his answer. 

“I’d much rather die, did you already forget how I was _constantly_ seasick back then?” 

Hyunjin snickered, “of course not.”

They kissed, smiled against each other’s lips before continuing to look through the old memories. 

Something Hyunjin’s mother had told the two of them once rang in their ears, _“love always starts with a fight,”_ which wasn’t necessarily true, was probably something that often was flat out wrong. But in some cases, it bound up to fit some couples. 

Don’t tell anyone, but it turned out Hyunjin and Jisung probably (definitely) didn’t hate each other as much as they claimed they did in the navy. It actually turned out they would one day whisper _I love you_ to one another, because that was a bit closer to the truth. Or well - that _was_ the truth. 

**Author's Note:**

> so! regarding the notes at the beginning, my fathers friend told us this story about 2 men he was training with in the navy (or smth like that) who disliked (hated) each other, but the sleepwalker of them walked to the other ones bed in the middle of the night and slept there, very cute, didn’t fight at all after that. obv i have altered some things though lmfao, so take it with a grain of salt (but the sleepwalking thing is 100% true) anyway somewhere out there there are two 60 year old men who now have an au inspired by them. cheers to that!! 
> 
> thank you for reading as always <3 
> 
> stay safe!!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/hopeonmydick)


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